Thursday, December 26, 2013

Christmas 2013

I haven’t felt like this for a long time. Definitely haven’t since end of May. My new beginning.

I almost forgot how much I loved you. It’s kinda hard to imagine how I could spend all those sleepless night thinking of you.

This holiday season can be so forgiving. I swear I wanted to wish you Happy Christmas. For a few hours, I was gonna revoke the ban on initiating a conversation with you.

And then I couldn’t do it. I stared at the smoke from my cigarettes lost into the cold, dimly lit by stars midnight sky.

I think, in these situations, there are a lot of things we thought we’d never do again, only to somehow reinvest the movement into the next person we thought was the one. One thing AIESEC taught me, is that, fact is, there were always gonna be exactly nobody, I repeat, NOBODY, who would do it with/ for us. Owning an Ipad, a new phone, an authentic jersey, a great meal, a longchamp tote, perfume, rings, or going to cinema. 

It's like, a quote you might have heard before, women should expect gifts of all kind, but somethings, a handbag, a really good one, you wanna earn it yourself. 

We owe it to ourselves really. No one, but ourselves.

Only.


Holiday seasons means spending time with people you care/love. It probably never crossed your mind, but I longed to be with you the most especially during times like these, I could be totally disconnected from the surroundings. But as most things that happened between us, it was stupidity on my part, which I can now fondly reminiscent, smile hard, and left wondering and dreaming about what might have been. 

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