Saturday, August 31, 2013

Matt Harvey

The biggest news of the week was Mets ace Matt Harvey having a torn ligament in his throwing elbow. I’ll tell you what Matt Harvey means to me.

Matt Harvey represents the beginning of a refreshed period of my life. Matt Harvey put sense back into my life. I saw his Mets debut last year. He gave a whole different meaning of being a New York Mets fan. Mets were no longer losers. Mets were Amazin’ again. Mets, although not playoff contenders, were relevant again.

This is such a huge relation to my personal situation at the time. The courage to move beyond, the telling that the failure period is finally over. Things, at last, are turning for the better.

This was all, aside from the obvious reasons that he’s the anchor of the Mets’ future for many years.

The news just wouldn’t go away in my mind that day. Until yesterday, I watched Elysium, and the first person I thought of about the medic bed is Matt Harvey.

The next day, Celtic overcame a 2 goal deficit, winning 3-0 at home to qualify for the group stages of the Champions League. The opposition’s playing strength aside, I believe this might be the best Celtic squad I’ve seen in years. Since Larsson. They have talents, that’s always been the case, but having the unity and guts, like Larsson, Moravcik, Lennon, Lambert, Boyd, Hartson, that’s fresh. Again they won the day against a very cocky opponent. That’s how football should be. Thanks for another great memory at Celtic Park, and for believing in football, and goodness, again. That whatever evils, shall lose, even in fantasy football.

The draw was shitty, but never say never. Lennon’s bhoys could surprise many people.

And then the football Giants lost Stevie Brown and Andre Brown. The entire preseason basically wasted because of two key personnel going down. But Giants will still go as far as Manning could take them. And that makes the Nassib pick felt even more comfortable.

Life is that fragile. Tommy Johns are common nowadays. If this was 30 years ago, the whole landscape of the Mets franchise that they have been building for the past few years, would have been gone.
Life, is that small.

Since Harvey went down, the Mets have shown up a bit more. Niese practically did it all by himself. Gee was again outstanding. Even though the Mets were out of playoffs forever since, even though there was no David Wright, but those guys showed up and played well.

I felt sorry for Matt Harvey. But I do feel he will come back even better, whether it is the next year or 2014. 

#HarveyDay will be back

The Mets will contend under Matt Harvey. 

And hopefully, win. 

Friday, August 23, 2013


I’ve rarely sent people off at the airport since childhood. We used to send relatives very often at the airport because my dad's offday was friday. #convenient. 

Lately I’ve always been the one who leave. Literally that is. And yet I still don’t feel like I’ve travelled enough.

Well today, for once, I was the one left behind. My housemate has left the company to go work somewhere nearer to his home. It was weird. At noon I was thinking he was probably having lunch alone some shit airport restaurant. At night i thought he was finally back home in Miri with his family.

I never really said goodbye privately to him. I don't know how to. 


I’ve been having these sleep troubles for the past week. Splitting my sleeps in two - going to bed early, rising for a couple of hours at midnight, and then going back to sleep again.

Back in university days, I had a few stretches like this. Slept, and then wake up at midnight to close the lights, and try very hard to go back to sleep. Or, wake up a couple of hours before I was supposed to, and hanged there until time. Even if I had managed to sleep it’d always be full of imaginations, dreams, like the stories just started from nowhere and keep going and going.

The last time I had this problem seriously was a couple of years ago. She filled my mind. I kept asking myself some questions. And I always, always thought of her no matter how long the day has just been or was going to be. Year 4 Second Semester.

I called granny the yesterday. Haven’t talked to her since I saw her two Saturdays ago.

I told her my half sleep problem. And she said I must be worrying about something. Well we all know the direction that she was thinking  - the desperate one. And I can’t say she was wrong.

So on the third midnight of the past working week, I woke up and couldn’t sleep. I played a baseball game first, and then wrote all this - some of them on the laptop and some of them on the phone while I was trying hard to sleep.

In most things, somewhere in between, there’s always a time, a moment, that one short moment, when everything was clear, we made a choice.

That people praised God for, that people also come to regret.

The fascination in my misery over her during the past two years, is that I still couldn’t point out the exact moment that changed everything. Maybe it was during the month that I was in Hsinchu, but what happened?
We were happily riding the waves, and then suddenly I was alone, trying to make ends meet all the time.

Whatever happened to you telling me that your mom said the one you were gonna be married to were better be a Christian, “at least a Methodist”?

Whatever happened to you telling me “next year”, and then “next year”, about visiting me?

Whatever happened to you accepting my proposal to dine at your home, your mom’s cooking?

Whatever happened to the pure joy of you telling me that you finally got to watch “Apple of My Eye”, that the queue was super long? Even though I had lost interest in the film because it was more than 3 months since its premiere in Taiwan?

I could still precisely remember the pure jubilation, when you gave me your address and home number for me to send you a birthday gift. It was like flying through a sea of asteroid rocks at hypersonic speed AND knowing you won’t hit them. That night, I remember where I was, and what I was doing. That night, I left my passport in Kahwai’s car, 3 days later, I had a flight to Taiwan. 

That singlemindedness on my 2nd day helping out at farmer’s place, when I showed you a purple morning glory and you told me you fainted in the bathroom and took the day off work.

Tiny details like these. Once in a while they come back to haunt me. It was not of happiness, for there wasn’t content. It was more of excitement, of what might, or could have come.

The feeling of invincibility. That you’re ready to conquer the world. That “就算天塌下來”. A bit of pride. The grandeur sense of feeling that I am larger than life.

Hours like these while waiting for daybreak, it doesn’t seem to matter.

Or has it ever?

Monday, August 19, 2013

Old Pictures

2011.  That was a very good year. 

That year I failed one subject each in the spring and fall semesters. It was, in a way, the last ‘noisy’ year. That was the year everyone was there. The fall semester was my best semester then. I guess the feeling that it was the last hurrah, the last run together, we’d make it the best we could. 
That was, really, a very good year. I wonder why we didn’t take much picture that year.

All I have now is only very few random photographs of one of our many trips out. 

I guess we all missed each other. In a way I wished we could have a reunion, somewhere, somehow. Just get together again. Getaway vacations? We didn’t do that enough. Folks getting married? Then I guess I’ll start worrying about how many more times we’d be able to do that. Never had enough eh? Greed. Humans.

2012 was quiet. This year it’s still quiet. Last week I finally got MVP 13 on my machine. And it’s awesome. It was just like when I fitted up MVP 12. The pure joy of baseball, the sounds, the rosters, the players, the graphics mostly. Last year it was the 50th Anniversary of the Mets. And all the memories flowed back again. 

Remember how people debated whether Dickey should win the Cy? Or how San Francisco turned their fortunes around, twice, in the face of elimination, in Cincinnati and St Louis? And finally how Matt Cain controlled the strikezone and refused to leave the game during the World Series, where games in San Francisco would last long after lunch time? Panda’s 3 homers in Game 1, 2 off the super pitcher Verlander? And Miguel Cabrera staring at strike 3, and Romo’s joy? Then there was hurricane Sandy. 

It’s hard to put that period of time into perspective of any kind. It was hard, as it was back in May of this year. I needed something then. Something had to happen, I had to do something, I needed to have something. Like a kid who suddenly grew up and realized the true value of sweet candies. Assurance, despair, hope, truth, something to hold on to. I might even have started smoking then. But then it didn’t stick. I didn’t like the smell. 

There was one night, I was alone back there. I refused to move in with Robert even though it’d be more convenient, because I loved where I stayed, like I was guarding the Alamo for the last few droplets of memories in that house to sink in. Anyway there was one night, it rained hard, 3 am. I had a couple of beer more than usual, I was playing my guitar out in the front porch. I even penned out a song. 

They say baseball is the only thing that hasn’t changed in America over the past 100 years, and that baseball witnessed every moment in the history of America. 

Maybe, in a few years time, we will finally get together. And when people start to reminiscence, I might not remember it as 2012, but the year the San Francisco Giants gave something to my life. Something to believe in.

When life is long, you wanna live fantastic. But when life is fantastic, you just want to live long. Zivjeli. 

Saturday nights are so much different now. It used to be the best time of the week. Now, there’s actually work to “look forward” to on Sundays. And all I have now is only very few random photographs of one of our many trips out.

Saturday, August 03, 2013





我跟他說,偉大的樂團到最後都要解散。綠洲,CCRSimon and Garfunkel,披頭四。

如果,披頭四只滿足于一開始的成功,而沒有勇敢嘗試突破。如果,到現在五月天還是跟I love you無望的時期一樣青澀,沒有對錄音,樂器和表演提升。如果Noel Gallagher還是寫著1994年一樣的呐喊高調搖滾,而沒有進化成更加成熟穩定的曲風。

就像如果當初RA Dickey沒有下定決心轉型苦練蝴蝶球,去年就不會連續四十幾局沒有自責分,更不會拿到賽揚。



PS - This was one of those “I don’t know why I wrote this” posts.