Thursday, March 28, 2013

27 Chelsea


What if, on a Sunday, you woke up, and you were told it was actually Saturday?
What if, on a Sunday, you woke up, and you were told it was actually Monday?
What do we lose and what do we gain? We live in such a self conscious world, being “too focused” in our own world, especially now with the whole network virtually on our fingertips, until at times, it is so hard to open up to new things. Not that the outer world is bad, but we felt that a lot of times we have enough of ourselves and we don’t need new things. Self Consumption.
You’ll see how it links to my day after I tell you about my day.
Today, overall, is a good day. I was invited to a Youth Day Camp in Cherating with the Catholic kids. We were joined by other kids from the local SIB church branch. I totally wasn’t expecting an overnight camp, I didn’t bring any clothes, and that is why I ended up here, at home, now, typing away.
In short, it was what they called sort of a Youth Day celebration. Christian related of course. Its nice to see kids from different churches getting together. Especially kids. Not exactly kids anyway. College kids. I just remembered how distinctively a lot of my Christian friends separate themselves between different churches.
There was this girl, her name is Chelsea. She is absolutely gorgeous. Amazingly captivating. I couldn’t take my eyes off her. She’s pretty ordinary, in a sense, the feeling was like the first time I saw Vivian, ordinary, but very attractive. I find myself, mysteriously struggling to chat with her. I wanted to say hi, I wanted to ask where she is from, I wanted maybe get closer to her. I couldn’t. I just couldn’t. It’s not that I refuse, but it was more like I’d forgot how to do all these. Just imagine, hours ago, I was still worrying about how to further convince Eileen to go to Mayday with me.
But Senorita Chelsea was talking through wechat with someone else, if it could be it might just be her boyfriend?
It’s 12 hours since, and I can’t stop thinking of her. She’s really cute. Now why the fuck did I not approach her. Why can’t I be the kind of person that hits the metal while it’s hot? Why do I make it hard on myself everytime?
Thoughts. I feel totally bad about myself on this. Kinda like I missed out on asking Eileen to prom a couple of years ago.
So what am I saying? I’m definitely into her? Or is this one of my bipolar disorder I was suspecting I was under? When was the last time I talked about someone being so absolutely perfect?
And that is another thing to pray for tonight.
What if I had talked more to her? What if I was more open? What if I was a bit more sociable? Hell I could even have made the invitation last night. At some point, I gotto learn to pick up things as I go, and not to regret about it afterwards.
And by the way, the count is now 2, on Ernest Hemingway. It was Midnight in Paris, and the latest, in Silver Linings Playbook. Jennifer Lawrence was amazing. She is absolutely amazing. Her performance in Silver Linings Playbook got her the Oscar. Tiffany Maxwell reminded me of Robert De Niro’s performance in Bang The Drum Slowly.
The link of all these is that somehow I see myself quite similar to both Bradley Cooper and Owen Wilson’s roles. And both the outcomes of the story line were somewhat similar, in a way that they both found their love. And I should have been more open last night, braver.
Finally, I hope it’s not too late. Chelsea.
Footnote: Alright, probably this wasn’t as embarrassing as I thought it was. Anyway her phone number was a dead line. I called like five times since the morning. She appeared in LINE but nowhere else. Not even WECHAT. So that means she’d probably be on a new number. Cos her boyfriend was on another operator? You know, kids do these kind of things all the time!
I was contemplating with the idea of not putting this post up. But what the hell, the blog is for everything, and especially shitty laughter-triggering stuffs like this one? Gotta have em! Anyway she wasn’t as angelish as I thought, probably even the second coming of BB’s BB! I was so wrong, it was so horrible, I didn’t know what to feel, when I saw her facebook page. But she seemed like a good girl. Perhaps I was the one who was drunk. It does suck. I wished the weekend never happened.
In another way, I’d like to thank her. This whole thing changed my mood. I lightened up a lot. Like A LOT.

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