Tuesday, November 15, 2011

November 15th

I don’t know where to start really. There’re an awful lot of emotions. Not that there’s people out there who cares, but it’s been long since I last came write anything here. But I guess it’s always what it is, the blog. A cousin of mine who’s in the advertising industry, does not have any advertisement in her blog. I guess that should be the way it is, a private room for free expressions.

I was supposed to be graduating by now, and start looking for jobs like so many of my batch. I think people like to do odds, and there’s always the complacency feeling that as long as you’re not losing, you’re fine. You don’t really have to win. I think that’s how I’ve changed this past 5 years.

Today I’m gonna be leaving for home, and leaving for an exchange programme in Taiwan by Friday. A few hours ago was the last day I’ll see a lot of those guys as classmates, schoolmates. The next time I see them would be 6 months from now when they revisit this oil town for their graduations.

I’ve been looking for signs, but we acted like normal. We joked we laughed. Maybe we didn’t know how to act otherwise. We weren’t prepared for it. For the first 4 months, we kept looking forward to the time when we’ve submitted theses, finished exams and presentations. But it happened so quickly. Its been a month since exam. We’ve been living lavishly like kings over this period. And for the first time, refreshingly, we’re having different, private and mostly selfish thoughts. One who has a potential girlfriend right in front of him, one whose girlfriend is on vacation in Australia, and one who has not much planning except for the journey home from today until next week. I’ve been busy about the exchange program, and also thinking of her.

A lesson learnt from today’s excitement is that most of the times, when we think its late, its already there.
Yesterday I was walking on the streets and I was trying to put a phenomenon of mine into words, everytime I think of her my skins get tighten, there’s an itchiness that comes from within. And when you touch anything, it doesn’t feel good, less pain than pain. Today, I saw a friend standing right in front of his door, watching me leave until I fade, I felt touched. Its that itchiness again. Its unbelievable. I'm gonna miss you all deadly next semester. Keep in touch, we're all growing old from here onwards. Take care boys.

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